Caution: Murder Can Be Hazardous to Your Health story
Wade Anders is a former security consultant, and now host of the popular America's Most Wanted-esque crime show CrimeAlert. One day, he gets an unexpected visit from his rival, the chain-smoking newscaster Budd Clarke, whom he blocked from becoming the CrimeAlert host. Clarke has resented that he was snubbed in favor of Anders, but now, he has got some leverage that he hopes will get Anders out of the CrimeAlert chair: a porn video that Anders starred in many years ago. Clarke plans to go public with the tape unless Anders resigns from the show. Anders decides to kill him rather than be disgraced by a scandal. He palms a pack of Clarke's cigarettes, which he doctors with a few drops of alkaloid poison nicotine sulfate. Anders then pays two visits to his production office, once that night and again the next morning - so a surveillance tape there will show him at the office all day. Anders then drives to Clarke's house, and switches a cigarette pack for the poisoned pack. Once Clarke takes one of the poisoned cigarettes and dies, Anders makes it look like Clarke had a heart attack at his desk. Final clue/twist: Columbo can prove that the surveillance tape was fabricated, because the trees and bushes visible in front of the office appeared to have been trimmed in the morning, but had supposedly grown again by the evening. The fact that Clarke's dog scratched Anders' car, making distinctive marks because of its missing claw on one of its paws, provides further evidence that Anders had indeed visited Clarke's house before. Directed by: Daryl Duke. Story by: Sonia Wolf, Patricia Ford, and April Raynell.
13 total · 3 choice · 8 major · 2 minor
| Theme | Level | Motivation |
|---|---|---|
| blackmail | choice | The newscaster Budd Clarke told Wade Anders in no uncertain terms that he'd expose Wade for having made a porno film back in the day unless Wade handed his TV presenter spot over to Budd. |
| how to murder someone and get away with it | choice | The TV show host Wade Anders eliminated his chain-smoking blackmailer by slipping him a cigarette that was laced with a fatal dose of nicotine sulfate. One gathers that he would have gotten away with his crime had it not been for the meddlesome Lt. Columbo. |
| what if I were in a tight spot | choice | The newscaster Budd Clarke told Wade Anders in no uncertain terms that he'd expose Wade for having made a porno film back in the day unless Wade handed his TV presenter spot over to Budd. So Wade killed him. |
| having a skeleton in the closet | major | The successful TV presenter Wade Anders was hiding that he'd done the pornographic film "Holly does Houston" some years prior. |
| law enforcement | major | The bumbling but sharp-witted homicide detective Lt. Columbo was tasked with the following murder mystery: Did the chain-smoking newscaster Budd Clarke did from heart failure, or was foul play afoot? |
| poison murder | major | The TV show host Wade Anders eliminated his chain-smoking blackmailer by slipping him a cigarette that was laced with a fatal dose of nicotine sulfate. |
| pornography | major | Wade Anders having starred in the porn video "Holly does Houston" was a key novelty of the story. |
| the dangers of smoking | major | The title of the story alludes to the murder victim being a chain-smoker. The chain-smoker Budd Clarke having apparently died of heart failure was a wake up call to Columbo to quit smoking cigars. |
| the desire for professional success | major | Budd Clarke took measure to secure the spot as host of the wildly popular America's Most Wanted-esque crime show CrimeAlert. |
| the entertainment industry | major | The viewer is shown a behind-the-scenes look at the top rated network television show "Crime Alert". |